alone again

I remember a really low time in my life when I was lonely and completely enslaved to my moodswings. Anyway, I found this website called Yeti or something that was programmed to make you feel like you were really talking to someone (supposedly a Yeti) but all the responses were computer-generated. Kind of like talking to a wall and having the wall talk back. It didn't make me less lonely but it made me introspective, and I slowly began to descramble my brain--at least for a moment. I suppose that's what journalling--and this blog--does for me. "Dear diary..." And why not? Why can't we make companions of blank notebooks or computer screens? Sometimes they provide a glimpse of another part of myself that's not worn out and predictable but always renewing itself, always almost...It's like walking in the woods and there's a clearing ahead, bright sun on flowers, and it's almost better to resist the temptation to walk over to it but allow myself to just glimpse it and accept it as a little bit unknown. Mysterious but not really because part of my being knows that clearing as well as it knows my inner workings and thoughts. Knows it well enough not to need to disturb it. I sometimes feel like I could embrace the world without moving at all. "All the lonely people"...to somehow offer them what they already have--wisdom and peace.