holding their hands

When by daughter was a preschooler we got her enrolled in a swimming class and the swimming instructor made an error in judgement and had all the children hold hands and go into deep water. Well it worked until some of the children let go, and then they started going under. She rescued them but my daughter was shaken and so was I.

I was thinking about that today and reflecting a bit on the spiritual support and religious teaching children need. They just haven't learned to swim yet and it's dangerous to send them out without any guidance and trust that they'll find their own way somehow together. I am deeply grateful for the religious instruction I received from adults as a child, even though my beliefs have evolved and changed over the years. A dance-teacher once told me that it doesn't really matter which kind of dance you enroll your child in, that they all learn the fundamentals. I think the same is true of religion--the basic teachings, the ethical foundations, are very similar. But you also have to be in the water with the child, you have to be fed too, following your faith (or even being deeply engaged in your atheism) and sharing the joy--the very real joy--of that faith with your child. You have the advantage of years of seeking and growth. You are teaching them not so much what to believe, but why belief, religious foundations and spiritual maturity are important and life-giving. Your love for them is grounded in it and upheld by it. And if you are unsure of what you believe, don't be content to rest in ambivalence or cynicism. Take a chance and choose, then commit to give it a real chance to take hold in you. My mum was baptised the same time my brothers were. She taught Sunday school even as she was learning about the bible. Make it part of your life and it will grow and like a tree you plant, will give pleasure and shade to your whole family.

And I haven't even got started on the ways it will nurture and uphold you as a parent. I'm always promoting continuous prayer (I use the Jesus Prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.") and observing how beautifully it can under gird all your activities and also help you navigate the common parental realms of boredom and waiting. It even eased me during the birthing of my second child. As the labour pains increased I swayed back and forth and prayed in my heart, and those prayers gave me the strength I needed.

The love of God is constant but easily forgotten or turned from (this turning away is what I call sin). Continuous prayer, along with other spiritual disciplines like meditation, fasting, gathering with other believers to worship or share food, studying and reciting the scriptures, laughing, dancing and giving back to the community, will remind us of this love and turn ordinary life into an adventure, intensify the smallest details of life, offer sharpness and clarity, fill us with joy. I know this from experience and try to live it (yes, it's received as a gift, but only because it is lived) as best I can because, right now I can honestly say, it's what gives me energy and life. And it's the best thing I can offer my children and the world.

the company I keep

It's taken me an embarrassingly long time to admit this basic fact about myself:

whoever I watch watches me

So I will find my life being scrutinized by a fictitious TV character rather than by God or the Nameless One. I'll literally find myself chatting them up in my head as I go through my day, so great is the need to connect to an audience. I'll note what would meet or not meet with their approval and even find myself apologizing to them. But if, as I believe, my real audience is God, then the best  response to this reality is continuous prayer.